I started to write a few times last week and I couldn’t seem to find the words for what I wanted to say. I’ve been hard on myself for gaining weight that I can definitely see on myself in the mirror and on the scale. It has impacted the way I view myself as a whole. Why can’t I control my eating? Why can’t I just be consistent? Why is it so hard for me to avoid things that I have to go out of my way to eat? Why can’t I be good at [diet, crossfit, being an adult]?
I started to wonder why I’m not really skilled at anything in particular. I often start this as a way to shame myself for not feeling good enough. I pick myself apart. One of the most common things I find over and over is that I have not one thing I can point out and say that I’m great at doing. I usually get very kind responses when I go back to this in my blog posts and I am appreciative. I just tend to compare myself to others and find ways to come up short.
When I really stopped and observed other people doing everyday, mundane things, I realized that many were basically winging it. The difference between them and I in some of the things was simply confidence. I even overheard someone say something similar to another person and it inspired me to write about it. *I’m not saying that a skilled surgeon is going into a difficult surgery and coming out successfully due to confidence. I’m saying that it can often apply in many of the skills we commonly are concerned about in ourselves: health, parenting, “adulting”, relationships, friendships, hobbies [especially fitness].
Comparison really can steal joy from your life if you let it. Everyone starts somewhere and the people who are open to learning are going to get the most out of the things that matter most to them.
I think another important factor is that no matter how much time is being put into something, there’s always room to improve. That doesn’t mean the investment of time didn’t result in something of value. It just means that we’re willing to take that payout and invest more for a higher value again. The real loss is if we just walk away and quit.
Yes, it is different if we have to give up. I understand that I’ve taken a few steps back because of my injury. I’m extremely frustrated with having to put back in time and effort I already have before just to get back to where I once was. I also intend to surpass that point, though. So I have to put in more than I expected.
I finally ran 3 miles recently, which is the longest run since December. I set out to run/walk up to 2 miles, but I was feeling good and had no pain. I used run/walk intervals of 5 minutes running, 1 minute walking and I made it all 3 miles with no pain during or after. FINALLY! I’m slowly coming back. I’ve not always been the best about optimism in the face of this challenge. I have been pretty good at shifting back to positive, though.
Here’s a pic of me post run:
Thanks for reading! I hope what I shared has value to you. Please feel free to ask me any questions in comments or message me. I love feedback! If you have a suggestion for a future post, I’d love to hear!