Today, I ran a 5k race in a nearby town. I wasn’t planning to, but decided I could use an excuse to get up and run on a Saturday morning. Keeping things interesting is part of what keeps me motivated.
It was hot outside. I actually felt confident. I wore the right clothes and I was well hydrated. It was themed around the 4th of July, so I donned my finest patriotic running gear. I put on my NUUN hydration tattoo and filled my water bottle with mango orange sport (caffeinated). I’ve gotta say, I used my Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner to fill a spot I messed up applying the tattoo and it did not sweat off. I’m impressed. I ran into people from the crossfit gym where I’m a member and exchanged pleasantries. I guess they’d planned ahead to meet at the race.
I started with no incident and pulled back to a slower pace with the intention of running the entire course with walking water breaks. I did that for about 1/2 of the course before allowing myself to walk for 1 minute because my pace had slowed too much from target and I needed to get my body back. I kept having surges where I would run faster. My second mile was not what I wanted. My third was like I was having a series of power surges. I’ll post my graph from Garmin because it truly shows how inconsistent my second half was.
There was once a time where I’d think to myself, “Oh well, I did my best.” Today, I didn’t. I was nearly in tears walking to my car to drive home. I actually did cry about it after I got home. I finished today’s race almost 10 minutes slower than my best time (28:45). My worst time was in Chicago in the dead of winter (55 minutes). I was pissed that people who aren’t as committed to running as I am finished before me. I sucked today. I didn’t even feel like a runner.
Nothing has helped me with how I feel about my results and I doubt it will. I’m competitive. Against others and myself. I don’t feel like I fit in with my running groups anymore. I don’t feel like I fit in with people at my gym. I’ve accepted long ago that I’m meant to be a bit of a loner. I just don’t always like feeling that way.
Thanks for reading. I’ll get over my finish time. I’m sure I’ll be taking it out on myself when I run tomorrow. I’m done recovering from my 2016 running injury and I’ve put a lot of effort into coming back. I’ve got to get it together before 2021 so I can run another marathon in my 40th birthday year because I’m still not over my Chicago Marathon 2017 finish time.
I visited my doctor for a routine medicine checkup. I showed her the printouts from my weigh ins and asked if we could try to stop one of my medications. I wanted to see if I had more success in losing weight. So far, I’ve been weaning for a little over a week. Aside from a few headaches, I haven’t had negative side effects. I’m following her instructions to the letter for this process. I would suggest anyone trying to stop a prescription discuss a plan with the doctor in detail and follow that.
The positive side is that I’ve been productive in my waking hours. Where I sometimes felt afraid to leave the house or too weak to complete tasks, I’ve been accomplishing things that I’ve been intending to do for awhile. I have decluttered, reorganized, and improved many spaces in my house. It is a step in the right direction for me.
I’m hoping this leads to progress with my fitness and nutrition, but I’m also glad that I feel good and I’m actually feeling a little more positive about my slow progress than I was before. I’m ok with shifting to a lower body fat percentage without a big change on the scale.
Now I’m trying to get an idea of what to change to fit my running plans and crossfit into my busy days. This might mean early mornings, which I hate. I don’t understand how people function on such a small amount of sleep because I don’t see myself being finished with the daily house things in time to be in bed by 9 or 10.
My dad has more info on his condition. He has stage 4 non hodgkin’s lymphoma type b. Treatment will begin soon and will involve a form of chemotherapy. Prayers are appreciated and miracles are anticipated. I am optimistic at this point that he’s going to fully recover and go into remission. Regardless of my hopes, God is taking care of him and is there for comfort.
I’m currently anxious about running the Warrior Dash in Joliet in July and training for my October half marathon. Taking so much time off of long distance running has made a difference in how I feel when I run. My speed has improved even with only 3-6 miles per week running.
I’ll let you all know how the medicine changes go. Thanks for reading! I hope you have some optimism about the uncertain things in your future.
I am back to my blog. I LOVE HOCKEY! I’m a lifetime St. Louis Blues fan, which means that my team hadn’t won the Stanley Cup until this year. It was spectacular and fantastic and amazing. My husband took off of work on Friday so we could drive to St. Louis and go with the kids and my in laws to the Stanley Cup parade Downtown. The experience was something I’ll never forget. The players were interacting with the crowd and the crowd was electric. We chanted for a young rare disease patient named Laila, who followed and cheered the Blues on to victory and became an important driving force for the team to keep winning. I shouted for each member of the Blues’ Alumni and each player and coach that came by and so did the crowd. The energy was just beyond words.
I’m one of those women who follows some sports and enjoys them. I won’t answer any questions about obscure players or rules to prove myself or my fandom. I don’t require validation or permission to watch. It’s sad that women face that type of criticism for enjoying something.
Here’s some pics of my weekend fun! I’ll be back for running stuff. Just wanted to share one reason I’ve been away from the blog. Missed you!
See the cup up there?
Hubby, younger 2 kids, and model me
Cut off hubby’s head