I’ve started to write a post and deleted it a few times. I’ve been thinking things that I connect with negative emotions and didn’t want to spout negativity.
I often feel spread too thin. Instead of feeling satisfaction from the things I do, I get the feeling that I’m not doing enough. It isn’t entirely in my head. There is societal pressure to put more and more on my plate. The Scouts need people. I’m a people. I want to help. School needs people. I’ve got that, too. I want to be active in my community. I find those opportunities and fit them in. At church, I attend and volunteer in two different positions and they insist that I join a small group. The pastor has spoken about not being obsessed with being busy. I’m not sure I understand how people can’t be constantly busy by contributing where they’re involved. Then, I’ve been trying to find part time work and to switch my body fat percentage with my muscle mass. I also have opinions about the way that my multi level marketing job works, but I’m going to stick that one in my pocket for some other time. I enjoy doing things, but the sense that it isn’t enough is what impacts how I feel about myself for doing them.
I realize everyone has challenges and their own form of busy. I get it. If someone is having a hard time, I’m not getting out my yardstick to measure how hard their hard is compared to mine or anyone else. I believe them. Tell me you’re tired and I believe it. I’m not going to compare how tired I am. I hope you find rest. I don’t need to win.
So there’s choosing joy. I am blessed to have kids that need things from me. I am able to work out and able to run. I’m blessed to not have the problems I’ve had in past years that kept me from being as active and involved as I’d wanted to be. I am more at peace with my life now that I’ve invested time in my faith in God and my Christianity.
I found people who wanted to run with me if I’d just ask. When I’m working out, I stay on top of the positive. Being outwardly positive draws it inside. I’ve made progress in fitness. I’d gained a few pounds only to find out I’d decreased my fat mass and increased muscle. I can do weighted sit ups and I can pull my body up while holding on to rings. These things were not something I could do before the fat shred I did in March. Considering it hasn’t been very long and I’ve made that much progress, I’m feeling optimistic about the future with my health and fitness.
I recently discovered my dad has non hodgkins lymphoma, so prayers are appreciated. I don’t know a lot since the diagnosis was very recent and will require a lot of tests prior to treatment.
I want to keep my eyes on the positive. I trust God with my paths.
Now my kids are acting crazy and literally screaming, so I have to get to them. They’ve hit their limit of unsupervised time, I suppose. Thanks for reading! I try to be here weekly. Comments and suggestions are always read and appreciated. Thanks!