I haven’t written anything on this blog for a while. Plenty of interesting things happen, but I’ve felt “blah” lately.  I think I’d rather have something to brag about than complain about.  I don’t want to give a negative vibe.  I certainly don’t want people to associate negativity with health and fitness.  Parenting, maybe…but not being our best selves.

I’ve been running three or more miles 5 days a week.  I enjoy competing against myself to go faster and further than my personal records.  I signed up to run a 5k next weekend with my friend, Liz.  That keeps me motivated.  I realize that I want to do well and that I need practice.  Also, Liz knows where I live and she’d probably pull the valve stems out of my tires if I don’t visit her that weekend.  When you live 200 miles apart, you can’t stand each other up without trouble.  Back to running: I’m pretty steady with my pace, but I’m trying to improve.  Tomorrow, I’m going to run in the morning because I mostly run in the evening.  I feel like my running in the evening puts pressure on my husband.  While I’m gone, he bathes the younger kids and puts them to bed.  I know they enjoy it, but I don’t want to overwhelm him.  It also sometimes means that the kids take too long and he doesn’t have time to go for his run.  I’m glad I have someone like him to have a hand in my success.  He’s a real prize when he wants.

Do you have a specific goal in mind?  Are the people around you supporting you or sabotaging you?  Do you have a time of day you prefer to work out?

So you read the title and thought, “Of course she isn’t.  She’s just realizing this?”  Don’t you worry.  I know this.  Most often, my struggle to finish lifting weights or delayed onset muscle soreness reminds me that I’m mortal.  That said, I have rarely been sick over my life.  I get sick less than once a year.  I actually remember every time I puked as a kid because it was a rare occasion.  I guess it was bound to hit me eventually since the last time I got so sick I had to be catered to, it was December 2011.

Sunday afternoon, I went for a run on the trail near my house.  It was awful.  My throat felt dry and my legs didn’t seem to want to go.  The run I went on the night before was perfect and i was hoping to repeat that feeling.  I told myself it was mind over matter and pushed through, stopping occasionally to catch my breath.  When I got home, I felt like no matter how much water I drank, I couldn’t make myself feel hydrated.  My mouth felt dry.  I continued on to do my resistance workout and had to push myself to complete the 3 sets in the 15 minute workout using the training application on my phone.  I took some pain medicine before bed to ward off any soreness.

Monday morning, my husband was up and about and I looked up at him and told him I was too dizzy to move.  After declining his offer to stay home, I was begging him to come back home by 10am.  He came home and sent me to bed.  My family barely saw me again until Wednesday morning.  I was weak and barely getting around, but I disinfected every inch of my house.  By Thursday, I decided I wanted to go for a run.  It wasn’t easy to get going and I didn’t feel great, but I’m glad I got out and did it.

So, I’m not invincible.  You know what I am, though?  I am persistent.  Fitness is becoming a habit and a regular part of my life.  I’m not the ideal size or weight just yet.  I’m not sure if I’ll ever be fully satisfied with how I see myself physically.  I am proud that I’m making changes and things are going in the right direction.  When I realized I had to recommit to fitness, I couldn’t talk myself into working out.  I made excuses.  Now I realize that the days I don’t feel up to it couldn’t possibly be as bad as the days when I cannot do it.

Have you learned anything about yourself on your own fitness journey?  Do you realize when you’re making excuses that are getting in the way of your own success?