What am I doing here?

I’m glad you kept reading even after my cheesy title line.  Thank you!

In case you missed my info, I am a 33 year old mother of 3 kids.  My daily struggles involve trying to be a good wife and mom, getting fit and healthy, while also keeping order and cleanliness in my house.  Some days, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Other days, I just want to run away from home or retreat to my bed and stay there.  Those other days become more frequent when my depression resurfaces.  I proceed forward even when I don’t feel like it.

I’m not a perfect example of motherhood, marriage,  fitness, or organization.  I’m not open to criticism about who I am or how I spend my time.  That is mainly because I’ve found that there is nobody who is going to be an expert on what someone else should do in his or her own life.  Additionally, most people who are critical have a shortcoming he or she is compensating for by pointing out mine.   What I am is a person who makes mistakes, says things I don’t mean when I’m angry, is sometimes too lazy to take control of situations, and is completely uncomfortable in social settings.  I go back and forth on decisions and what kind of person I want to be.

What I am is a stay at home mom with a 13 year old, a 3.5 year old, and an almost 2 year old.   I love my husband, who I have been with since 2005 and married to since 2009.

I am not a social person, but I will talk to anyone if they talk to me first.  There is a sign on my forehead that tells strangers to open up to me about things most people wouldn’t share.  I will fully listen to these stories and respond with genuine empathy.  I don’t like to lie and I don’t lie (even by omission) to my husband.  I’m sure he would occasionally prefer I would omit things from our dialogue.  I like to laugh, read, and write.  I’m banned from internet self diagnosis.  I fix my laptop with new parts instead of replacing it.  I’ll come up with more stuff…just wait.

So, here I am, at the end of writing the first entry on my blog.  You read this far, so why not stick around and read the next one?  We can hope I’ll get better at this.

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